Thursday, April 14, 2011

This week I’ve been following my doctors advice....

Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A: Your heart only good for so many beats, and that it... Don't waste on exercise. Everything wear out eventually.. Speeding up heart not make you live longer; it like saying you extend life of car by driving faster. Want to live longer? Take nap.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that mean they take water out of fruity bit so you get even more of goodness that way. Beer also made of grain. Bottom up!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have body and you have fat, your ratio one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio two to one, etc.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No pain...good!

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU NO LISTEN! Food are fried these day in vegetable oil. In fact, they permeated by it. How could getting more vegetable be bad for you?!?

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise muscle, it get bigger. You should only be doing sit-up if you want bigger stomach.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy?!? HEL-LO-O!! Cocoa bean! Another vegetable! It best feel-good food around!

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming good for your figure, explain whale to me..

Q: Is getting in shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is shape!

I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.


Big Daddy Diesel said...

After reading the first question.answer, I was raising out of my chair, starting seeing red, looking for a soap box, then I realize this is all tongue and cheek, nice

Julie said...

Perfection!! Words to live by :D

Jim ... 50after40 said...

"Explain whale to me???" Ha!

Karen said...

such a very wise man. I wonder if he is in my PPO network.

Al's CL Reviews said...


Junk Food Runner said...

Love this!

Teamarcia said...

Your doc is brilliant. You need to pay him more.

Diana said...

Love the swimming/whale one....too funny!

Jill said...